Money


As evidenced by one of my earlier posts, I love V-neck sweaters.  I also enjoy video games, food and public transportation.  (Who doesn’t love the M86 crosstown bus?)  What do all of these things have in common?   If my title was not a large enough hint, they require money.  The problem with that is that I possess very little money.  Yes, while it may be hard to believe that someone with a blog and looks as good as I has monetary problems, unfortunately it is true.  Years and years of compulsive spending on stuffed animals and gogurts put me in such a deep financial deficit that despite my best efforts at gaining it back my losses over the years, I have not been successful.  I have tried lemonade stands, public harp performances and an idea that looking back now seems unwise, a short stint as a male escort.  (I was quite good at that one.  People just couldn’t resist my work name: Long Dong Silver.  Hey Julian, be a little more creepy.)  At this point, I don’t know what to do any more.  I’ve sold beverages, music and my body and I still cannot afford my beautiful sweaters.  I do have one suggestion as to how I could get some more cash and how I could actually work for it.  Everyone who reads my blog should get five billion dollars.  I could get ten trillion dollars for writing this fantastic (terrible) collection of hilarious (dull) pieces of writing (feces.)  The only problem with that is that no one reads my blog, (I’m joking.  I hope.) so I would not benefit at all.  I guess I’ll just have to go back into my closet and get my trusty Long Dong Silver outfit out again.  I had really hoped that I had progressed past that low point of my life, but I suppose not.  I will work Bar Mitzvahs and weddings.  Please hire me.  I’m desperate.

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About julian822

This blog is informal to say the least. It's almost like an online journal, filled with stories that I find funny, interesting things/links and anything else that comes to my mind. Enjoy.
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