Rude Koalas


I am a mellow person.  I enjoy herbal tea, marmalade and nice strolls along the Everglades. However, one thing that I don’t like at all is selfishness.  Allow me to specify.  If I were to offer you a refreshment, an iced tea for example, I would expect you to have one glass, perhaps two, if I was in a generous mood of course.  Now, let’s say you drink the entire pitcher and I have to go make a new batch because my grandmother needs her iced tea and she’ll whip me if she doesn’t get it.  Would I ever want to invite you over again? Sure, but only if I hadn’t made any iced tea.  Therefore, my long and eloquent (Nice word. Thanks.) introduction served as a lesson that all should uphold and respect: Don’t be selfish and drink all of the refreshments.  Which brings me to the focus of the post. Rude Koalas.  My friends Henry and Anton recently informed me that Koalas only drink water during droughts.  We can trust this information because it comes from a very reliable source.  A Snapple cap. However, as Henry wisely argued, Koalas only live in Australia.  (I hope he’s right.  I’m too lazy to fact-check.)  And since Australia is always in a drought, the little impish Koalas be drinking all the water that don’t belong to them.  (Ghetto voice. Racist.) They are the definition of selfish.  Little children are going thirsty just because Koalas are too stupid to drink kool-aid.  Or iced tea for that matter.  Therefore, I am now declaring a full Koala boycott.  Their sole purposes will be for their hides to serve as blankets and clothes.  I want my iced tea.  Actually more than anything, I just don’t want to be whipped again.  My grandmother uses four belts.  Four.

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About julian822

This blog is informal to say the least. It's almost like an online journal, filled with stories that I find funny, interesting things/links and anything else that comes to my mind. Enjoy.
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One Response to Rude Koalas

  1. Charles Dunst says:

    Kool aid is spelled with a k. Not a c. Gosh.

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