Swag


If any of you have noticed, I use the word swag a lot.  Perhaps, due to my incredible writing style, (and modesty) the use of the word swag was able to evade being noticed by you all, but I’m still going to admit that its in my vocabulary.  In the dictionary, swag is defined as a suspended wreath, drapery, or garland fastened at the middle with a festoon.  However, as I don’t know what any of those words mean, I shall define it myself.  (You don’t know what a festoon is?  How have you lived your life?) Swag is a rarely obtained quality that signifies the utmost coolness.  There are two forms of swag: major swag and minor swag. Major swag entails supreme awesomeness and anyone with major swag can be considered a God/idol to be worshipped.  Those with minor swag are annoying, rude and know what festoons are.  Anyone with minor swag should be forced to watch Cougar Town.  For five minutes.  Trust me, its punishment enough.  (Hey, I love that show! Exactly.)  There are only a few ways of earning major swag.  They include: extraordinary intelligence (shout out to Abby), ridiculous athletic talent, amazing clothing, and kindness.  Looking back at all of these requirements, I realize that I possess none of them and therefore do not have major swag.  Screw it, this is my blog. I have major swag.  There’s nothing you can do about it.  Its done.  By the way, does anyone actually know what a festoon is?  I’m totally intrigued.

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About julian822

This blog is informal to say the least. It's almost like an online journal, filled with stories that I find funny, interesting things/links and anything else that comes to my mind. Enjoy.
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One Response to Swag

  1. henry says:

    ███████████████]….swag now at 99%…sorry sir, only Jesus has that 100% swag

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