There are many distractions in this crazy world of ours: scrabble, sleeping, eating cereal, and blogging. While some people are able to balance such an enormous multitude of tasks easily, many others have a tougher time doing so. I believe that I am one of the people that can focus if I really want to. However, I have empathy for all of the people who do get easily distracted. In order to help out everyone with concentration deficiencies, I shall outline the four greatest distractions and give solutions and tips for how to overcome them.
Facebook is the shit. I’m not going to be annoying and recommend that you deactivate your account because that would be like asking a crocodile to stop being a crocodile. (Indeed.) However, it should be done in moderation. For example, don’t use me as a role model. If you find yourself checking your inbox four times every five minutes, you either have psychological issues or you’re just really lonely. (Both apply for me.) I advise checking the book of the face about five times a day for about five minutes each time. Therefore, you shall be in the loop but not too obsessed.
I understand you. I am a big eater myself and whenever I’m faced with even the most minor form of adversity, I turn to carbohydrates. The trick is to fool yourself into eating healthy things and still feeling satisfied. For example, you come home from school and you really want some Doritos. However, you know how bad they are for you, so you take some celery. Everyone knows that celery is no fun. In order to enjoy the devouring of the celery, one must turn it into a game. If you turn it into a talk show and interview the celery, it makes it much more tolerable to consume. Perhaps that only works for me, but Celery O’Brien and I got really tight and I have a six pack now. Its definitely much better that Jimmy Bagel. Him and I got fat together.
Hulu is a great website if you need to watch the last episode of a show that you missed or if you want to check out a show for the first time. However, if you find yourself spending four hours watching twelve episodes of Doogie Howser M.D., you need to get some friends. Quickly. Again, moderation.
I don’t understand Twitter. What is the point of it? I honestly could not care less that you just bought some nice loafers at J. Crew. Why would such a trivial fact interest me? And what’s the deal with chirping or whatever its called? Seriously, you’re not a bird. Please stop. It frightens me. Just don’t tweet. It’s pointless.