Contrary to what many people say, America is actually a pretty solid place. There’s great food, fantastic entertainment, and beautiful sights to be seen. Now, when I say America, I mean the East and West coasts. The states in the middle are Republican and therefore, not solid at all. They claim to be kind and wholesome but are instead filled with intolerance and Glenn Beck. (Basically the same thing.) I don’t agree with everything that the Democratic party argues for, but I try to live my life according to basic morals like decency and respect, making it impossible to be a Republican. While I am not particularly involved in the political sphere, I do vote on occasion, (No you don’t. You’re not eighteen silly. Shut your face. Go to the closet. But- What did I say about interrupting my posts? Leave.) and it goes without saying that I always go Democrat. Having experienced my fair share of political candidates, I realized that all of the stupid ones come from Republican states and have arrived at the conclusion that I should detest all of the Republican states. (That’s a really bad reason. If you were to write this in a blog post, people could ridicule you for your lack of proof behind your argument. And stuff. Wait-this is a blog post? Haha, you’re screwed.) All but one: Texas. Yes, Texas. I feel like the state is given a bad rap. People say that Texas is uber-conservative, racist, and that eighty percent of its population is obese. While that might be true, the state does have a few redeeming qualities. (Looking back, I regret that last sentence. Texas has no redeeming qualities. How will I ever finish this post? Its called the delete button. Why do you bother me so much? This is my blog. Get your own.) For one, my grandparents live there. They’re nice. Also, my friend Noel (Black Rat), only the coolest person in the world, says that its a decent place. Finally, I like obese people. They make me feel more comfortable about my body. Yay Texas!
I would like to apologize to anyone that I offended in this post. By anyone, I mean Texans or obese people. Republicans deserve nothing.