I’m not a huge fan of fashion.  While I wouldn’t go as far as saying that I dress as if I were homeless or looked like Mickey Rourke, I don’t spend a significant amount of my time on things like making sure that my clothes match or that they are generally clean.  (Ew, that’s gross.  Hey, its hard.   In order to get to my washing machine, I have to take the elevator and walk fifteen feet.  That’s like fourteen minutes that could have been spent watching television or complaining to my parents about how dirty all of my clothes are.)  Therefore, when my dear and loving mother suggested an excursion to an enormous outlet mall called Woodbury Commons, I had an… extreme reaction.  At first, I began to sob emotionally and when my friend, who just happened to be watching the entire thing, asked if I needed help removing my tampon, I ran bawling to my room.  Five minutes later, I returned with a baseball bat, hell-bent on forcing my friend to retract his earlier statement.  Several hours later, I found myself making a new friend, Jim, who just so happened to be the leader of the anger management course that I was legally obliged to take for three months.  (That was a joke.  Really?  I sort of believed you there.) Woodbury Commons was an interesting experience.  I was very surprised to find myself shopping at Ralph Lauren alongside ultra-orthodox women, but as we all know, everyone needs a little bit of preppiness in their life.  However, I took preppiness to an all new level.  I shopped at J. Crew, the aforementioned Ralph Lauren, Vineyard Vines and it took several security guards with my mother to pull me away from a Brooks Brothers.  All I need to do now is buy a house in Massachusetts and change my last name to Kennedy.  In conclusion, I would have to say that the day of shopping was a success.  I was able to buy nice clothes that are socially acceptable.  However, its only a matter of time before they get gross again.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go party it up with my new Orthodox friends.  We’re going to try to hit three Shabbat services in one day.  Its going to be crazy.


About julian822

This blog is informal to say the least. It's almost like an online journal, filled with stories that I find funny, interesting things/links and anything else that comes to my mind. Enjoy.
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One Response to Shopping

  1. Michael says:

    That is funny. Seriously.

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