The Subway


As you might have been able to derive from some of my posts, I am a confident, brave and perhaps even courageous young man, rivaling the strength of a Nordic warrior or Roman centurion.  (Its funny that you think that.  Why?  Its true.  I’ll let your imagination enjoy itself.  Run along now.)  That is, when I’m not on the subway.  You might see me walking down the street, chest puffed out and talking about swag and such, but the second that I go down the stairs into the station, I become as outgoing and friendly as the government of North Korea.  (Man, you’re just brimming with fantastic analogies today.  Thanks.  I was being sarcastic, but its ok.  I’ll let your imagination enjoy itself.  Why do you keep saying that?)  By the way, for those of you that don’t know what a subway is because you live in Kansas or something, its simple.  It’s a train that goes through scary dark places.  I’ll leave it at that.  When friendly strangers approach me while underground and ask me if I am ok, I have two responses.  The majority of the time, I begin to whimper and drool a slight amount, frightening the helpful citizen into fleeing the scene.  If I am feeling especially vulnerable that day, I will immediately throw them my phone and wallet and run away, squealing for help and screaming that I was just mugged as part of a gang initiation ceremony.  I haven’t gotten a great response from that one and I have been told several times to stop speaking or I will get mugged for real.  Once I hear that, I just do the whimpering act.  (You do realize that none of this happens, right?  Do you have any sense of what you’re like on the subway?  Never mind, I can answer that one for you: just as obnoxious as ever.  But no worries, I’ll let your imagination enjoy itself.  Honestly, will you explain what that means?  I feel like you have an inside joke between you and.. someone else.  I don’t like being excluded.  It hurts my feelings.)

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About julian822

This blog is informal to say the least. It's almost like an online journal, filled with stories that I find funny, interesting things/links and anything else that comes to my mind. Enjoy.
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