Food


I’d like to warn you all in advance that this post might be a bit disorganized.  I feel very strongly about something that us humans like to call food and it is quite difficult for me to control my actions when it crosses my mind.  Anyway, here goes.  Well, where to start?  (You can’t just get everyone really excited for the post and then have no plan in mind.  This is how things get messed up and people lose credibility.  Who do you think you are, the U.S. army?  That made no sense.  Apart from insulting the people that keep you alive, you achieved nothing.  Scratch that, you distracted me from food which is far worse.)  You see, I have always felt that food plays a significant role in my life.  We come into contact three times a day (For you, six.  I won’t lie.  He’s right.  I have a serious problem.) and it helps me stay strong and smart.  However, apart from keeping me healthy and filled with nutrients, food makes me feel happy and comfortable in a world that is often cold and miserable.  (Whoa, easy there Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.  What is up with the tasteless jokes today?)  When there’s no one else to turn to, who else can I count on for a little pick-me-upper?  Mr. Pizza, Ms. Fried Calamari, Captain Ice Cream and if the something really horrible happens, like the History Channel has nothing good on, (Trust me, that is the worst possible thing that could happen in this house.  Except for there not being food.) then Mr. Fudge might have to make an appearance.  As I said earlier in the post, I am often captivated by the very thought of food.  While I’m not making any definite statements, that might have made a minor contribution to the fact that this post has taken me thirteen straight hours to finish, in between looking at pictures of hamburger buns and slow motion videos of hot fudge being gently poured onto things.  So, as I leave to do more important things than write on this blog, (Like eating hot fudge and renewing my subscription to hot fudge magazine.  The fudge jokes are getting a bit old.  Just like the war in Iraq.  Seriously man, you need to chill with that.) I would just like for you all to understand the sacrifice that I made by writing this blog post: gaining six pounds, chasing a hot dog cart for sixteen minutes and having to pay for the owner of the cart’s therapy, the list goes on and on.  Basically, just be grateful.  Or buy me a hotdog, its basically the same thing.

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About julian822

This blog is informal to say the least. It's almost like an online journal, filled with stories that I find funny, interesting things/links and anything else that comes to my mind. Enjoy.
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