In life, one must seize great opportunities.  Whether it be a two-for-one sandwich deal at Subway or, as basically nothing can trump a two-for-one sandwich deal at Subway, the only other opportunity must be a two-for-one subway sandwich deal at Subway.  Just imagine your very own sandwich, smothered with gently billowing turkey, surrounded in a tender embrace of smoked Asiago cheese that just so happens to be sunbathing on a freshly toasted Italian loaf of bread.  Mmm.  (Dude, what’s up with the food porn?  I mean, I won’t deny the appeal of food eroticism, but that’s not why I read this blog.  Good point.  Its just that I have so many readers, almost two a day, that Subway pays me to advertise their food.  Awesome!  How much do you get paid?  Nothing yet.  I’m just hoping that they read this and offer me a deal.  Hell, I’ll even work for free.  I really like their sandwiches.  Clearly.)  Back on topic, there is nothing more exciting than a new opportunity to succeed.  For me, a new opportunity usually entails a Subway sandwi-, scratch that, an opportunity to make friends, (Shout out to my man Zach.  He knows what’s up) an opportunity to learn in school, it goes on and on. (That last part was funny because you don’t actually learn in school.  All you do is look at pretty girls.  Seriously?  Do you have a camera on me or something?  If so, it’s really subtle and I’d like to buy one myself. Why?  So that you can spy on girls?  How did you know?)  This is my first year at the school and let me be the first to tell you, boy is it swell.  The school is in walking distance of several Subway outlets, there are many pretty girls (Lily and Lila included), and get this, someone actually spoke to me once!  This, my friends, is how the post gets linked back to its title, opportunities.  You see, for me, being approached by someone other than middle-aged cafeteria workers (Weird) is a momentous occasion.  Therefore, when someone came up to me the other day, I sensed an opportunity on the horizon.  Then, reverting back to my normal personality, I ran sobbing into the bathroom, pleased that I had handled the situation quite well.  That was until I figured out that the bathroom was the middle-aged cafeteria worker’s bathroom. (That clearly does not exist.  For the purpose of my story, it does. Close your mouth.)  Three hours later, I stumbled out of the bathroom, my pockets stuffed with hair nets and aprons and realized that yet again, I had mishandled a valuable opportunity.  But then, in a flash of genius, I wondered what exactly an opportunity is.  Does it have to be a class that you can do well in or some kids you can make friends with?  Or is an opportunity the chance to spend a long period of time in a cramped bathroom with a dozen cafeteria workers, discussing how to get around proper hygiene guidelines and the locations of the best latino strip clubs around town?  I think yes.


About julian822

This blog is informal to say the least. It's almost like an online journal, filled with stories that I find funny, interesting things/links and anything else that comes to my mind. Enjoy.
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One Response to Opportunities

  1. Kg swaggz the bids says:

    Good stuff Julian. I’m relished by your uncertain humor. lol.

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