As you all read in my last post, I’m not looking forward to school. However, one of the best written parts of the post, if I may and will say so myself, was the witty section concerning my excitement about reuniting with my friends. I now feel that I had not addressed the issue in enough detail and would like to dedicate this post to the topic. I also felt the need to point out, yet again, that I do have a moderate to slightly active social life and that several of my friends are in fact, not imaginary. Everyone just needs to stop asking questions. Moving on, with approximately five days until school recommences, the prospect of seeing my friends has been weighing pretty heavily on my mind. In fact, I have a lot of questions about the first day. So, if you all don’t mind, I’d like to outline my various uncertainties and my ideas concerning them, you know, so that I can be prepared. I think that my ideas kick ass, but if you guys have any changes or tweaks, just leave me a comment and we can start a (hateful argument) friendly discussion. Come on now, leave a comment.
1. What should I wear? This.
2. What do I say to my friends when I first see them? I’m split between: “Wassup’ dawgy dawgs, how’s it barking?” and “Hey now” in a really creepy pedophile rapist voice. I think that they’re both great and will make me a very popular guy.
3. If my friends ask me what I did during the summer, how should I respond? The important thing is to remember to lie. No matter what, evade the truth. Say you went dirt biking or did karate or something. That stuff is cool these days. I think.
4. If I get invited to a party, or event of sorts, how should I answer? First off, the odds of that happening are so miniscule, I don’t think we even have to worry about that. However, if such a wonderful thing does occur, control your emotions. Try not to scream and whatever you do, don’t ask them if your parents can come because you do everything with them. (Aw, so cute, a mama’s boy. Females, take notice.) But, if you actually do get an invite, power to you, so just do whatever you want
5. If there are girls around- I’m sorry. I’m getting too far ahead of myself. These goals do need to be realistic.
6. Do I have a happy place to go to, or something soft to hold if everything goes wrong? No. You’re on your own. Just remember what happened in sixth grade. It can’t possibly go worse than that.
7. Should I actually attend school? Yeah, on second thought, I think that it might be prudent to call a rain check until mid-october. It’s ok. Maybe next year.