Interacting with Fans


What follows is an online question-answering thing I did, where my fans would submit questions and I would answer them.  I was really excited, because I saw Selena Gomez doing this once and if I could be one-third of the (wo)man that Selena is, I’d be the happiest prince(ess) in the world.  Unfortunately, only one person actually asked me questions, but I think that it worked out pretty well.  Here is the entire transcript of my “discussion” with conFEDerateLUVR1863@alabamaracists.org.  Only one of us actually knew how to properly use the English language.

Fan: do u have any hobbees?   i like brrning books and listening to celine Dion

Me: Ah, Celine, love her.  By the way, is it just me, or has her stuff totally dipped in quality over the last five years?  Man, such high hopes. Anyway, I love music.  In fact, I’m a musician, myself!

Fan:  for realz???  I play the banjo  and YES to Celine!  my gawd, that’s one hot mess if I dun ever seen one :$  u play an instrument like the guitar maybe 😀

Me: No, I don’t play the guitar, the drums, the 14th century Persian mahogany Mandolin, or any instrument for that matter, but I still make sweet, beautiful music.

Fan:  well how you gone and dun that?  through yur fancy words and stuff?

Me: You mean my talent at spinning illustrious vocabulary into a harmonious melody with gorgeous prose?  Nah, it isn’t my writing.

Fan:  fellow caucasian man, you got me more lost than an Indian (Native American) off thems reservation.  maybes it be when you playing athlettics? like beisball or hocqey?

Me: Not even close.  Although I am quite intense while engaging in a fierce game of squash and I do sweat majestically during a turbulent game of backgammon, that’s not how I make music.

Fan: ight yo, i got one final idear.  maybe it be when you be out with a lady, showing her the goods, you know wut i saying :>  den you take her bak to your trailur, put on some Lynard Skynard, dats when the music happens. uh huh.  i gots it

Me: Unfortunately, you didn’t get it and for your information, when I take a girl back to my apartment, not trailer, I like to play some of Nick Jonas’s earlier stuff, you know, to set the mood.  Lynard Skynard is too intense for me.

Fan: ey bro, i give up.  throw Cletus from Kentucky a bone

Me: Ok, my hillbilly friend.  I make music when… I’m sleeping.  I’ve been told that my snores form a symphony that rivals many of Beethoven’s best works.

Fan: man, dat be a bigger letdown than wen me and de rest of de boys in the KKK went up to Detroit to find that little–

You logged out at 9:42 PM.  Good choice.  

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About julian822

This blog is informal to say the least. It's almost like an online journal, filled with stories that I find funny, interesting things/links and anything else that comes to my mind. Enjoy.
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