Cold


I know that I shouldn’t be complaining about the cold.  After all, I live in New York, it’s not like I should be expecting palm trees and whatever else there is in Hawaii all year long.  That said, it’s not ok to go outside and realize that if you took off just one article of clothing, you would die of hypothermia within the hour.  Also, the cold is really inconvenient.  In addition to my hat, my scarf, (cashmere, if anyone was asking) and my gloves, (fur-lined, just throwing it out there) I have to wear three layers of long johns, four pairs of wool socks, earmuffs, six coats, and twelve pairs of underwear.  It just ruins  my day.  Let me explain.  I decided to leave the house today, a rare occurrence in itself, to go shopping.  I got to the store easily, with only moderate to sever frostbite in three fingers.  However, once inside, not only did I get really hot because people feel the need to make up for the cold by turning their stores into saunas, I also looked like I was trying to shop lift half of the men’s department with my pockets bulging out with various hats and other winter apparel.  After six separate security guards accosted me, they finally sent someone to make an announcement over the intercom: “Guys, the Jewish kid isn’t stealing anything, just leave him alone.  Also, turn the heat up, not enough people have passed out from heat stroke today.”  Then, when I went home, it didn’t get any better.  Whenever I’m cold, I feel the sudden urge to bake things.  Ok, that’s not true, I just wanted to find a way to incorporate the fact that I baked some bitching brownies this afternoon into this post.  However, I couldn’t eat them because I’m watching my weight (where my Jenny Craig ladies at?) so I had to give them to my friend and my kind of sick doorman.  It felt really nice to give and what not but I also wanted to eat some brownies.  So, not only was it cold, but I also got blue-balled by my own brownies, if that makes any sense.  Overall, I give today a solid 2/10.  The only reason it doesn’t get a 0 is because I’m wearing my pajama pants now and they’re warm.  When you get down to it, my life is very simple.  Warmth, food, television, clothing, and sleep.  I like it that way.

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About julian822

This blog is informal to say the least. It's almost like an online journal, filled with stories that I find funny, interesting things/links and anything else that comes to my mind. Enjoy.
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